Morals

Here's the bottom line:

1) He's choosing to go home to her every night, regardless of whether it's because of the kids or not, HE IS NOT GOING TO CHOOSE YOU OVER HIS WIFE AND KIDS, for whatever reason. He would have by now anyway.
2) On top of that, he's claiming to be devoutly religious and plays a major role in his church... if he gets caught in what he's doing, he looks like an even bigger scumbag in the public eye. He's no better than a fucking skeazy politician.
3) HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU. IF he did, he wouldn't cheapen you in this way by inviting you out and paying for everything. What does that sound like to you?
4) No matter what he tells you, he really doesn't mean a word of what he says. It's the 21st century, if he really wanted to be with you he could... regardless of his current situation. But is he? No, and how long has it been this way? Come the fuck on... let's be real here.

/endrant

I really need to care less about people...

So I've come to realize that I care far too much about people in my life, especially those I consider my best friends. We're adults now, I shouldn't have to feel like I'm babysitting a fifteen year old when it comes down to it.... and that's exactly how I feel.

Why do I have to be the one to state that you should think about your actions before acting upon them, or think about what you say to others and if you truly mean it or not? Why do I need to be the one to point out your blatant and obvious hypocrisies when you should be old enough to realize them yourself? What's the point anymore? Why the hell do I care so much... oh wait... that's right... because I feel that I need to educate you on how to deal with other people, especially those you supposedly are romantically interested in. If you don't care about how people perceive you, then in turn you do not really care about how YOU see YOURSELF.

The bottom line is, actions speak louder than words. If those two pillars of civility do not line up and others realize it but you do not... that's a problem by anyones standards. Everyone should be old enough to realize that it's not just about what you say, but how you act upon those words. If you can truly act faithfully to those statements then more power to you, otherwise... it's just mindless chatter because you think it's what the other person wants to hear. In the latter, you're only screwing yourself at the end of the night. Keep fist pumpin' brah...

I need to stop caring about what people do with their lives in regards to things they obviously don't care enough to fully think about. I have a big heart, especially to those I'm friends with, or those I call my best friends, or people I confide and trust in. That doesn't give you an excuse to walk on it, but rather realize that if you're toiling over some bullshit, I am going to call you out on it whether you like it or not.

Moving along, I think I need to move to a different state. I'm considering Tennessee simply for the fact that I want to be in the music center of the United States, Nashville. I could not ask to be in any better place for what I want to do, that is to play with other like-minded musicians, have a great time doing so, and hopefully have people like it in some way, shape, or form.

It's time I started doing what I want with my life, instead of just talking about it.