Well, it's certainly been a very long time since I have been on here. That is to say, to write anything of meaningful consequence. Regardless, I haven't written in a while, so why not?
So this post is about having conversations at any time, without accounting for being tired, cranky, spikey, insert-any-metaphor-here-you-like-to-describe-general-crablike-behavior. If someone is talking with you, and in some cases talking to you, it is often a good idea to give them at least a modicum of attention and consideration. Why, you might ask? Well, because they feel as though they have something they want to share with you, whether or not it ends up being important or memorable is something you can decide after; but nonetheless at least give them the common courtesy to finish their statement or thoughts.
Now I know, I know, that sometimes this act of respect can be difficult to give anyone after a trying day or week due to work, family, or other emotional consequences that happen due to time and relative human behavior; but that simply doesn't give you the conversational right to just blow the person off mid-sentence with a dismissive and albeit, condescending: "Whatever..." or my personal favorite: "I don't care."
That sort of response before full thought expulsion can be quite volatile. Some people blow it off and just internalize that frustration, other people kind of tilt their head in a dog-like fashion, and sometimes people simply get visibly upset. I tend to fall in the latter, fully based on the person I'm trying to communicate with. If it's just some average public acquaintance? Fine, no big deal, just take it in stride and brush it off with a quiet laugh and revel at the fact that they seem to be completely content in their absent minded ignorance to a potentially important piece of information. On the other hand, if it's someone I have a good friendship with, then I will be mildly frustrated at not being able to finish my thought or conversation in full. Lastly, if it's someone I am intimate with (read--in a relationship with) then I immediately see a bit of red in my eyes, because I am generally the type of person that does not open their mouth unless they believe it to be something important or meaningful to say. So now you might ask, why do I get so upset?
Here's a story... about a Geeky guy... (read that in Brady Bunch sing-song fashion for full comedic effect). Growing up with two very head strong parents that have personalities like dragons from Lord of the Rings (think Smaug, minus the fire and sadly, gold), I often received similar remarks during conversation when they had had a rough day. Over time, I grew to loathe this type of response because let's be honest... I've got a personality that rivals many a dragon. RAWR! FEAR ME! (OK, you don't have to be fearful, but at least be respectful)
When you hear this sort of response for a decent part of your formative years intelligently and emotionally (until at least 20 years old), when you are actually trying to engage in a meaningful conversation, it grows quite bothersome. Who in their right mind wants to have the feeling of being blown off, or brushed aside even in the slightest? Who wants to feel condescended, or worse, belittled? I can't name many people that enjoy those feelings... at all.
So when I choose to speak with you, or sometimes to you, I only ask that you please listen and let me finish. I'm not asking you to be fake, or smile and nod, or pretend that you're listening. I'm actually asking you to listen because I'm trying to engage in that moment with you, even if it's just for a moment. When that moment is over, acknowledge what I've said, then tell me what you think. Not a dismissive statement, or condescending tone applied to your reply, or both during my statements or thoughts. That's just rude, you're being rude, and you should feel bad for being that rude.
I'm giving you the respect of my time in conversation, and spending said time on and with you. One of the most valuable things someone can give to another person. I know that comes off as righteous (and it is to an extent, I'm aware of my high and mighty soapbox at times) and metaphysical; but it doesn't refute the fact that "time" is a transcendent measuring tool of life. It's the reason we can recall memories, have a laugh, and really enjoy other peoples company through experiences worth remembering. Without time (and respect), you cannot fully enjoy many a thing! So when I choose to give that to you, please do not blow me off without considering that maybe, just maybe I had something important to share, or to give to you.
Thank you for giving me your time in reading this in its entirety.
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